Dec
3
Written by:
David Strickland
12/3/2007 3:27 PM
It's been a very busy couple weeks. I finally got enough time to sit down and update everyone and I want to start with an apology that it’s been so long. As I said in my last post Manny had her baby, she will likely stay with us till first week of Jan. to make sure they are both strong and ready to face what is ahead. It will be tough for them but they should make it. I've been pro-life most of my life but I guess this is the first time I put my money where my mouth is. Manny's stay in the hospital, delivery etc. cost about 12,000 rs. I have to admit it seemed like a lot of money at the time. Just before Christmas with my own wife going into the hospital soon. However now it's good to see the two of them healthy and happy.
Mercy went into labor Weds. the 28th of Nov. I had a speaking engagement at 6:00 pm so she stayed at home while I went. While I was up talking she was going into labor. Mercy’s contractions were sporadic and of variable strength when we timed then later that night after I got home. Thinking they might simply be Braxton Hicks Mercy wanted to wait before we packed up and went to the hospital. All night the contractions continued Mercy eventually kicked me out of the bedroom because she said she would be more comfortable by herself. It wasn’t till the next day I found out that she was actually in pain all night and actually kicked me out so at least one of us would get some sleep. Finally at about 6:00 am we called a friend to take us to the hospital. We went to Baptist Hospital here in Bangalore. Baptist has one of the only private birthing rooms in Bangalore and fortunately the birthing room was empty when we arrived. from 6 till almost one Mercy was in labor. Finally at 12:58 David john Strickland was born weighing 4.08 kg.
When my David was born he was purple and not breathing. The next couple minutes were some of the longest in my life. It seemed like it took forever. The doctor and nurses seemed to forget about Mercy and all gathered around the little table trying to get the baby breathing. Mercy was exhausted and bleeding heavily. I know now why they normally don’t let the husband into the delivery room there was nothing I could do but sit and watch as the life of my wife and son were in the hands of people I didn’t know and barely trusted. After what seemed like forever but was likely only a few minutes David let out a whimper. Not the full throat scream I was expecting but a quite whimper but that was enough for me and I ended up being the one crying as I realized he was alive.
As a side note for the most part in India they still don’t allow men in the delivery room. At one point a very rude and rough doctor attempted to tell me that I couldn’t be there. I believe she got the message when I informed her I would be there for the duration backed up against the wall, went down in one knee and held on to Mercy’s hand. In the end when a 6’2” 200 pound American says he’s not going anywhere there really wasn’t much she could do about it except be rude. I’m really not sure any of her patients had told her “no” before so it was likely a new experience for her as well. Fortunately before the time for the delivery actually came another doctor came that didn’t act at all like it was an issue. However this wouldn’t be the last time I was told I couldn’t be there.
After delivery it took about an hour to get ready to leave the delivery room. However once we were ready to go we were told there was no room in the hospital. Ok I know it was getting close to Christmas and all but to have the hospital tell us there was no room for us seemed a little surreal. A couple hours passed with us sitting in the delivery room until they finally said they had a semi-private room ready for us.
We had been in the room about 30 minutes when I saw the first roach scurry across the floor. I guess I should have said something at that point but no room meant no room. So our only other option was to go home and with 30 to 40 fresh stitches Mercy wasn’t going anywhere.
In India your nurse doesn’t fluff your pillow, help you to the bathroom or bring you food. All the nurse is there for is medical related issues. Anything else you need help with comes from a friend or family member that stays with you called an attendant. My mother-in-law was sick and both of my sister in-laws have babies of there own so we really didn’t have anyone else that could stay with Mercy. Even if we did Mercy really didn’t want anyone else so the role of attendant fell to me. We realized if I was going to stay I needed a sleeping bag or something. So I ran back to the house to get a few things.
In Bangalore you have random traffic stops. A police man will flag you over check your paperwork complain about something your supposed to pay him a couple hundred bucks which he puts in his pocket and lets you go. It’s all pretty routine for most people. Bribing is so common it’s the norm. I can’t count the number of bribes I’ve seen police take while I’ve been here in India. However I decided a long time ago that I’d never knowingly do it. As I was driving back to the house to get some stuff to stay at the hospital I got stopped at a random document check. Just one problem needless to say I wasn’t thinking straight when I left the hospital and I forgot ALL my paperwork in the hospital room. No sooner then he pulled me over then I simply told him I didn’t have any of the paperwork. His immediate reply was he then had no choice but to confiscate my motorcycle. Ok that would be slightly inconvenient, especially considering that when the police confiscate your bike IF you get it back it’ll likely be stripped of half it’s parts. However since I had no other option and I was obviously in the wrong I began to lock it down for transport. I climbed off the motorcycle and asked the policeman for a receipt.
Well then the story changed he didn’t HAVE to confiscate my bike however he said the ticket was VERY expensive. I looked at him and proceeded to explain that considering I just had a new son, my wife and son where in the hospital and I was attempting to get back to them as soon as I could, expensive really didn’t matter to me. Not to mention the fact that I knew that if I left him with my 60,000 rs. Motorcycle it would be worth about 30,000 when I got it back. Well he said he just didn’t like to see a visitor to his country charged so much. Ok anyone else getting the idea this guy is stalling. About this time I asked that he either write me a ticket so I could pay it or leave me alone so I could get back to the hospital. He proceeded to write the ticket and in the end it cost about $30.00.
Finally I was back on my way. I got to the house and got a mat I had brought from the states for taking over night trips to villages. While I was at the house Mercy called me and asked me to bring back the mosquito net I had brought with me as well seems there was quite a few mosquitoes in our hospital room. I got back to the hospital toward the end of visiting hours. I sat with Mercy for about an hour before the nurse came in and said that visiting hours where over and I’d have to leave. Well she got about the same treatment that the last person to tell me that got. However she was a little more insistent it seems that no men are allowed overnight in semi-private rooms. We told her that we didn’t have anyone else to stay in my place so then there were 3 options.
1. Give us the private room we had asked for in the first place.
2. Discharge us so we could go home where I could take care of her.
3. Leave us alone.
The nurse again said it wasn’t allowed however she would check with the Head-Nurse. Fortunately that was the last we heard about this from the nurses at least.
That night our neighbors baby in our Semi-Private room was up all night it seems the child had jaundice and as such was required to lay uncovered on a Plexiglas sheet under special lights. The poor kid was up all night screaming little did we realize it was a taste of what was yet to come. Needless to say we didn’t get much sleep that night. Little David wasn’t eating very well and was very tired. He’d cry because he was hungry but then he didn’t seem to eat.
Finally morning came. 5:00 a.m. the nurses came in turned on the lights and told us to get up ,it was time to change the sheets. Next around 6:00 they came in for blood tests the doctors started making their rounds all in all I think it could have waited a couple hours. But we weren’t getting much sleep anyway so what difference did it make.
It takes at least 3 days in the hospital before they will release you Thurs. was day one Friday was day 2 so we’d be able to go home on Sat. The day was mostly uneventful mother and child where exhausted and slept as much of the day getting what sleep they could an endless stream of Doctors and nurses kept coming in to see this 4.08 kg baby delivered normally. I’m not sure who was of more interest the 4.08 kg baby or the mother that gave birth to him. In a country where the average birth weight is about 2 kg a 4 kg baby is rare and a 4 kg baby delivered normally is unheard of. Evening came and with it a long line of friends and family. David hadn’t had a bath so he was still very much covered by afterbirth. We did what we could with wet wipes but there was only so much wet wipes will wipe. We had hoped the nurses would give him a bath before the visitors all showed up however they were evidently too busy.
That night David wouldn’t sleep. He kept waking up crying about every hour and he would stay up for about 15 minutes crying before he’d go back to sleep. We’d feed him change him rock him but it didn’t matter after an hour in the hospitals crib he’d wake up screaming. Finally he cried himself horse. The next morning as we changed his diaper in the light of the morning sun we figured out why he had been screaming all night. bed bugs. Small red welts were all over his body. Mercy found two bed bugs in his clothes and blanket and more on the hospital crib. It was very frustrating we were again exhausted we couldn’t help but think how much easier it would have been in the states. We were going home that day or so we thought we just had to wait for the bill. So like a prisoner waiting to get out it didn’t matter what had happened we were going to go home and we would forget about it then.
Banks in India close at 12:00 pm on Saturday so I needed to know the total before that in case I needed to take more money out then I could get from an ATM. I started early asking for an estimate so I could go get the cash. Finally at 11:50 pm I got it. 7000 rs. I had to have it double checked. This was the first bright spot in this whole terrible ordeal. 700 rs. or about $170. I had more then that in my wallet to cover food and other incidentals. I guess if it’s going to be one of the worst experiences of your life at least it’s nice not to have to pay an arm and a leg for it. We were going home so none of it mattered. In a few hours we’d be asleep in our own bed. In our own roach, Mosquito, bedbug free home.
One note though for any expectant mother reading this. Whatever you do make sure the outfit you plan to put on your child to take him home isn’t yellow. Just as we were getting ready to leave they looked at David and decided he needed one more test. They got the results back and his Jaundice was just slightly above normal. They decided we needed to stay and receive photo therapy. We ended up spending two more days in the hospital and I’m thoroughly convinced it’s because of how yellow he looked in his yellow jumper. He looks Jaundice today if I put that jumper on him. I told my wife we should through it away but it’s one of the ones we brought from America so I was told we are keeping it. Two more night we stayed up trying to get David to sleep on a clear Plexiglas sheet without a blanket to keep him warm. They did finally get us into a private room for the last night and the private rooms are neat, clean and free of bugs. If your planning on having a baby in Bangalore. Baptist I guess is good enough if you can get a private room with a private doctor. For the most part the staff was friendly (with the exception of one very rude doctor) and the private care facilities are adequate. But if they tell you they are putting you in Semi-private run stitches or no you’ll be better off at home.